Yourpsychicgirlfriend’s Blog
Making The Mystical TypicalArchive for relationships
Shut the Valve!
The Universe has been working with me quickly as if to say, there isn’t time to be spent on old patterns and habits. One of the lessons I have learned in this past period of time has been to cut off the stuff that doesn’t work. The image that comes to mind is that of the water valve. There has been a client that has been draining my energy. Of course, I have allowed it, but the indicator was that I was dreading her calls. I needed to shut that off.
I had to consider whether this client was worth the stress and aggravation. Let me be clear, my clients are wonderful. More often, clients come with a desire and willingness to be responsible for their lives and to take the actions necessary for change. I read the energy and listen for the best guidance for the highest good of all concerned. I found myself wanting to give her what she wanted, her answer, not the truth. I wasn’t direct in the truth but tried to gently guide her. She wasn’t having any of it. I go above and beyond for my clients. This one was quickly becoming a drain. My dilemma grew. She was consistent income, yet she was a drain and didn’t want help. What would be in my highest good?
It got to the point, where the answer came. I got sick. I created a way to avoid her. However, that was not my preferred way of dealing with things. Finally, it came to a head. She called and the truth flowed. She didn’t want the truth and hung up. I sent a follow up e-mail firmly and politely suggesting she find someone else to work with. I wished her well.
I knew she would take it out on me in her feedback and surrendered to it. I asked the Universe to send me one of my favorite clients and named a few of them. Within 5 minutes, a call came through and it was my absolute favorite. The message came loud and clear. My cold symptoms improved nearly immediately. I felt clearer, less congested and miraculously, my sore throat felt fine.
Letting go of something that doesn’t work liberated me to allow the things and people that do work. The message couldn’t have been clearer. My avoiding something that was difficult was weighing on me. Deciding to surrender and let it go restored me to balance quickly. My goal is to continue to be aware of which valves need to be opened and which need to be shut.
Smile
“I want things to change but I don’t want to change.”
That’s what I hear from people not only with my work, but with people I know. Most people complain that their life is lacking something, but are unwilling to think or do something different.
The one subject that I hear the most often is women want to attract a man for a relationship and yet they are unwilling to do what it takes to attract dates. Now, I understand and am fully aware that some people may not know how to go about it.
A woman I know who is smart, cute, athletic, interesting and nice told me she has had over 1000 hits on an internet dating site. She has had several dates and still not in a relationship. I asked her what she thought was going on? Her response, and I kid you not, was that she didn’t want to wear heels to impress a man. She wanted to be accepted for who she was. I understand this, but heels are not going to attract the man. A simple change that anyone can do is SMILE.
I noticed she doesn’t do much of that. I smile all the time and people flock to me. Who wouldn’t want to talk to the smiling woman? It’s like a magnet. I’m smiling away enjoying life and people comment or they ask me something. I always have someone to talk to. Smiling works. Smiling is something everyone can do. It’s contagious. Try it, it’s free!
No one has to change to be accepted. I don’t think that’s the issue here. I think put on a smile and see what happens. I’d love to hear what your experience is. Go out and give it a try. Smile in the grocery. Smile on the bus. Smile as you drive your car. Smile everywhere you go. Smiles everyone, smiles!
Love Simply Is
I’ve been thinking a lot about a relationship I had. We broke up a year ago. I loved him and still do. Recently, he asked for a friendship. I declined. Part of me thinks that maybe that wasn’t loving. He hurt me, he abandoned me, insert whatever victim script you want here. I’ve played them all. A healer friend suggested that he loves me enough to want a friendship. I love myself enough to let myself heal first.
I wonder why I still feel so connected. I love him in spite of myself. I try to get angry with him and I succeed, but not for long. Lashing out and treating him poorly is something I cannot do. For right now, I love him and even if he’s not with me, giving me what I want, love simply exists. It exists for me too. It’s within me, loving myself through the pain, heartache and suffering. Love simply is even though my ego wants to push it away.
I can’t help but think that he plays an important role in my healing. Whether he becomes my lover again or not, he has provided me with experiences of love and for that, I’ll always be grateful. Love may not be simple, but love is.
To the Person I am becoming.
The person I am becoming is unspeakably grateful to the person I am right now going through the trials and tribulations of this present life. I am feeling that my contortions of growth, much like a chick before it’s actually hatched might actually help me become.. well, fluffy. I was pondering on relationships, romantic ones. I seem to have the other kind pretty well on point. But, romantic, intimate, monogamous, committed relationships with men, seem to give me pause.
Case in point, I was married, (I spelled it “marred”) for nearly 19 years. I married because I didn’t want to be alone and the man who was to become my husband showed me attention. He called, he showed up he made me feel wanted. Except when he got me, which is where everything went south. During the marriage, I thought that it was me and something was wrong with me. In truth, nothing was wrong, it was just my training. I was trained to put my needs ahead of everyone else and grow to be a bitter unhappy person. Except of course, I was happy with most of my life, except my marriage.
I needed to learn what healthy meant as it certainly wasn’t modeled to me.
Now as a single woman, I am practicing new ways of being in a healthy relationship. Except, I keep attracting something else. Good news here, as my friend gently put it, “you are seeing the red flags earlier and acting on them.” Oh goody! Like that helps. It’s true, I walk away much earlier, when before, I would have married the guy. So, there is a victory here. I am grateful to the girl I was. I am grateful for the woman who stares me in the face each morning. Even though, she is really wondering when she’ll experience the good stuff. So, to the person I am, thank you. And to the person I am becoming, Rock on Sister! Enjoy your present. I worked my ass off for it. Ciao Bella!
